arXiv:2610.36652v1 Announce Type: cross Abstract: Memory helps LLM-based multi-agent systems reuse experience, but stored advice can be flawed or applied in the wrong situation. Team-level success or failure alone cannot reliably show whether a memory needs correction or should not have been used. We propose DiscernMem, a training-free framework that improves both memory quality and memory use. To improve quality, Defect-Aware Memory Refinement (DMR) compares team executions with a single memory and with no memory, diagnoses rule defects, and tests repairs on current and earlier tasks to guard against losing previously useful behavior. To guide appropriate use, Boundary-Learning Meta-Memory (BLM) records each memory's past uses and effects, learning when its owner role should apply or avoid it based on task context and incoming messages. Together, these components help teams correct flawed experience while retaining useful rules that were applied incorrectly. Experiments with Qwen3-4B-Instruct-2507 on four benchmarks show that DiscernMem achieves the highest average score on AutoGen, CAMEL, and MacNet, exceeding the strongest reported baselines by 0.51-4.32 points. It leads on code generation and symbolic planning across all three systems, including a PDDL score of 37.71 versus 28.48 on CAMEL.